The Power of a Village

Friends. I’m not going to lie to you – June was a shit month. I won’t bore you with all the gory and uninteresting details, but let’s just go with the fact that it was a shit month (and part of the reason things were so quiet here on the blog). Just when I was getting ready to kick June out and send it packing, my wallet was stolen. From a place where it should have been totally safe. And while having your wallet stolen is a pain to be sure, it’s not the end of the world. I was highly aware of my privilege – the cash that was in there wasn’t that a big deal to me. My cards can all be replaced. I can afford to buy another nice new wallet. The amount of money they got from my credit and debit cards will be replaced by my credit union and the several days it took to make that happen didn’t mean financial hardship for me. I didn’t worry about what might happen if I was stopped with my sad paper temporary driving license. I wasn’t scared to call the police and no one questioned my story or my behavior. It’s important to me to recognize and acknowledge those things.

That all said, I totally and completely lost it when I realized what happened. I mean, flat out LOST IT. I just couldn’t handle one more thing. I’ve been feeling physically exhausted and emotionally spent, and I just didn’t have it in me to deal with this, practically or emotionally. There was a lot that needed to happen quickly on the logistical front and I didn’t feel like I could focus enough to do what I needed to do. Fortunately, there are a handful of people who know what a shit month June has been and fully understand what I’ve been going through. And these people circled the wagons faster than anything I’ve ever seen. I know the saying is that it takes a village to raise a child, but I believe it’s bigger than that – I think it takes a village to handle life, regardless of your age and stage.

Last week I saw the power of my village in full force. A friend came and talked me through what I needed to do first and sat with me while I made the calls. She also provided huge hugs and encouraged me not to hold anything back and just let it all out. My husband rearranged plans, stayed home that night and provided foot rubs to go along with the emotional support. I got two sarcastically perfect cards from people letting me know they were thinking about me. A friend who’s been in close touch over the past month was even more in touch over text, checking in to see how I was doing and distracting me with funny tales of fatherhood. And another friend drank with me on Friday night to close out the horrific week and didn’t care that I got a little sloppy (let’s just be honest – that was clearly going to happen).

I value my friendships and prioritize them in my life, so I understand that these people are there for me in some of the same ways that I am here for them. But experiencing so much of their love and support all at once was almost overwhelming. Not in a bad way, just in a way you don’t normally experience (thankfully – because all this love usually only comes all at once when shit goes down and who can handle that on a regular basis?). It’s a reminder to me that as busy as life can be, nurturing these relationships is of the utmost importance to me and I’m so grateful to have them people in my life. As one person responded when I thanked her for everything she’d done, she said “You never have to thank me. You are my friend and that is what friends are for.” I’m so grateful for my village and quite frankly don’t know where I’d be without them. And while June was shit, I wrapped up the month filled with love and gratitude and that’s pretty amazing.

– Catherine Wemette

About Catherine 

As a child of the 1980’s, Catherine can name all the Care Bears and Care Bear Cousins and can’t wait to find out how this will be a valuable life skill. She is the founder of Good for Her Soul and you can reach her here.