So obviously it’s been a little quiet here. And I’ll get into that more as I continue to work through it. But the short version of the story is that there are only so many hours in the day and only so much energy available to spend and I’ve needed all my hours and all my energy over the past six months, not leaving much left for blogs. And I’ve needed to make my peace with that and be okay with not doing everything I set out to do. So I’ve adjusted my expectations of myself and thank you for your patience – you’re lovely for understanding.
In the meantime, I’ve been thinking about pride. I was recently celebrating my friend’s birthday with her after what has been a bit of a year for both of us. And one of the things I told her was how proud I am of her. I’ve felt this way for a long time watching her handle herself and the challenges that had come her way – I’m just flat-out impressed with her, by her and how she approaches life. And while I’ve told her I admire her and I’m happy for her and I’m glad for how things have turned out, I had mostly stayed away from the words “I’m proud of you.”
There was something about those words that had gnawed at me – like somehow me being proud of her might sound condescending. Or would imply I was validating her choices from my position of having my own shit figured out (so far from the truth). Or be a weird power-trip thing. Like it’s the thing only your parents say to you. And so I used all the other words to only quasi-express the thing I was actually feeling for my wonderful, talented and strong friend. And only after going through some of my own challenges and being proud of myself did I realize I wouldn’t at all be offended to have someone tell me they were proud of me. So I embraced what I was feeling, named it and told her how damn proud I am of her. And turns out it meant a lot to her.
Sometimes we’re not ready to say things out loud yet. Not because we don’t feel it, but because we have our own hangups we’re working through. And I’m still not exactly sure what my deal is with pride, but I do know how much better I felt after sharing how I genuinely felt. Now only did it mean something to my friend, but it obviously meant something to me, too. Do the people you’re proud of know it?
– Catherine Wemette
Catherine is a firm believer that September is the official start of fall, which is a hard belief to cling to in Virginia where it still feels like the surface of the sun. Catherine is the founder of Good for Her Soul and you can reach her here.